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So last night a random Facebook suggestion pointed me in the direction of someone I was at school with. My policy on this sort of thing is if we haven't had any contact with each other in over 30 years then I have no need to know what you've been doing with your life or to let you know what I've been doing with mine. However it was late and I wasn't sleepy so against my better judgement I jumped down that rabbit hole.

Raking up the past is never a good idea in general. There are good memories and there are bad memories. If you wish to reflect on good memories then odds are the people you shared them with are still in your life and you can meet up with them and relive them together. If they're bad memories then you probably cut those people out of your life a long time ago. It amazes me when life throws you a name from the past and you're bored enough to look them up on Facebook and you find out that they're still friends with a whole bunch of people who you were in school with. I am in contact with no one from the same school year as me. I was barely friends with them back then and have no wish to become reacquainted with them now. My school friends were the ones I knew outside of school time and it's them who are my oldest friends today.

You look at these lists and think 'what do you see in those people that I don't?' I read some names and thought wow, what a colossal bunch of arseholes those people were and equally what a bunch of right arse grapes they still look like today. I see names on friends lists of guys who I wouldn't have thought were friends back then. Are they really in regular contact with each other now or did they seek out those names with the rosy lenses of myopic nostalgia just so they could see how they turned out and compare who has the better life? It's funny to think that a lot of these ex-schoolmates still live in the same town as me and yet you never seem to run into them. I give thanks to the Higher Power of your choice that this arrangement remains so. I have no desire to make false pleasantries with anyone. We shared desk space a few decades ago and that's about the extent of our connection.

This is why I use Facebook under an assumed name. I don't want someone else as bored as I was to go name surfing and dredge up my name from their past, add it and let all these other cockwombles on their friends lists know that they've found me. Oh you have kids? Well you came equipped with the biology needed for that from birth, it's not that much of a big achievement and not one that I need congratulate you for. Well done on following the expectations of society. So hey it was great catching up with you. Let's do this again in another 30 years.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
aflaminghalo
Aug. 7th, 2015 11:05 am (UTC)

This is why I use Facebook under an assumed name.

Me too. Some people I couldn't care less about have made it on because of my family, but the mix of security settings and fb's mysterious algorithyms for choosing whihc posts you see means I hardly ever see anything by them anyway.
count_libido
Aug. 7th, 2015 11:09 pm (UTC)
An(other) advantage of being an only child is not having to add siblings or friends of siblings who can pass on your details to people you'd really rather not see ever again.
pete23
Aug. 7th, 2015 11:13 am (UTC)
Yeah, it's a mixed barrel. Ideally I'd burn down my Facebook - work, family and old school have encroached to the point where it's just not amusing any more.
zoefruitcake
Aug. 9th, 2015 08:20 am (UTC)
I was recently added by a friend to a community for one of our former schools. I wasn't ecstatically happy there and wasn't that keen to have a look. In the end it was ok, but no great revelations or meetings of long lost friends. I've had that before, when Friends Reunited came on the scene. Two people who I considered to be great friends at school popped up, one of them barely remembered me (even though we'd still been in contact into our 20s) and the other was decidedly cool
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )