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Fresh Start

So as of yesterday I am officially a student again.

It was my first day of a new direction for me as I started a Foundations of Counselling course at the local college. It's a big step for me because it means learning totally brand new to me and as someone who had disastrous prior encounters with higher education to the point that I still have regular bad dreams about it, it was a scary obstacle to overcome.

I felt a little socially anxious when the inevitable group icebreaker session started. I mean, who the heck would actually choose to speak to me? Luckily I got through it and as with all experiences that you tend to overthink, it wasn't as bad as I thought. Someone actually recognised me from the work club where I volunteer on Thursdays (note - must remember to try and recognise her tomorrow so I can say hello) and the lady who sat next to me was a volunteer at the local C.A.B - something I've been meaning to try for ages. You said it was great and the people there were all really nice. Maybe after a few more conversations over the coming weeks, I can build myself up to seriously considering offering my help. I've had the form filled in for ages and had it sat on my desk ready to go.

As we went around the room and gave reasons for why we were on the course, I felt like there was lots of common ground there and a number of people I could have spoken to and shared experience. However, as a guy who looks like the typical sad loser loner for whom female contact is a rare thing, I really don't want my attempts to talk to the ladies on the course to be taken as crude attempts to chat them up. It's something I always worry about when talking to girls for the first time. Girls must be so used to hearing the various bullshit approaches that men use to try and get inside their pants and I don't want my genuine attempts to be nice to be misconstrued as anything else. If I can make a few new friends from the course then I'm happy. I don't want anything more than that. I just want to show everyone that I am a nice person. As one of only 2 guys in a class of 15, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable around me. It's a major issue I have. I mean, I know what I look like and which stereotype I must seem like but it's important to me that people see me as just being friendly instead of some lonely loser out to put some girl on a pedestal and mumble some bollocks about friendzones.

Disgression aside, it was a good day and an auspicious start. I think I'll be able to handle the course, talk opening with people and above all learn to listen in the correct way. I really hope this leads to a fresh start for me.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
zoefruitcake
Sep. 23rd, 2015 07:10 pm (UTC)
Glad it was a good start. Don't worry too much about the girls, just be yourself - honestly!
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )