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Ups and Downs

Having a low day today. Spent the weekend with some friends who I might not see again for a long time. I will miss them and their company but I know I will see them again and they have a lot going on in their lives at the moment.

We mostly watched films and chatted about stuff we like and friends we share. We caught up on things people have been up to and although I didn't say anything snarky about anyone, afterwards I felt gossipy. That's something I aspire not to be any more and I feel like I let myself down in some way. I try to surround myself with positive people and good things and not let myself be influenced by things that will bring me down or give in to the negative. I shouldn't have even started down that path but y'know...wine happened.

Obviously it must have played in the back of my mind because I went to bed last night and had horrible dreams in which some secret thing about me had been revealed (but I don't know what) and I was surrounded by people I knew but everyone hated me. I woke up in a very low and fragile mood. I know dreams are only dreams and you shouldn't let them get to you but when I have dreams that give credence to the negative things I think about myself, it affects my mood for the whole day.

It's easier said that done but it is much better not to dwell on people you don't get along with instead of giving in and letting them dominate your thoughts. It's much nicer to say nothing at all than to think about them or tell them what you think of them. You're not going to make them change and what do you gain about making them feel bad about themselves? Even if they don't care what you think, no one likes being told that someone find you dislikable. Try to forget about them and focus on something more positive instead even if it's silly internet cat videos or Bob Ross painting some happy trees. Dwelling on the negative things that your subconscious cooks up just bums you out for the whole day.

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( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
zoefruitcake
Sep. 29th, 2015 12:03 pm (UTC)
Try to remember when the lows hit that they will eventually be replaced by the ups. Or at least the slightly less lows, or lower ups
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